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AsTheDeer24
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Name: Kate
State: Florida
Interests: My relationship with Jesus, loving my family and friends,Traveling, Kayaking, reading, Smoothies, nature and wildlife,maternity and women's health nursing, going to the beach or just lazing by the pool, and finally having fun and having hope!
Expertise: Not knowing what's going on...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Health Care
Message: message me
AIM:  KateMP24
Member Since:
5/28/2005
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| Well, things have changed since I last posted. I mean it has been a whole month...
The people who made a contract on our house decided to get out of it, so the house is still on the market. It was a disappointment for my parents, knowing it will take much longer now to sell the house. But I'm glad we didn't have to move within a month.
I had been in contact with some camps and some other places I've sent my resume to. The camps never made follow up calls about the position. And the other places around here that I've applied to are looking for more than just seasonal help. So, it was still hard each day to figure out what to do.
But thankfully, God has put me somewhere. My mom's friend, who just became a Mary Kay Director, needed an assistant to help her get more organized for the next step in her career. So, I've been helping her during the week, sorting papers and getting reorganized. So that is my job for now, and I love it!
Through this whole experience of not getting the positions I desired and then finally getting something, I've realized so many things about myself. I realized how easily I can get discouraged and how quickly I can blame myself or others for unfavorable circumstances. I realized how I haven't been spending enough time with God, or just praising and thanking Him for my daily needs. I had lost some trust and hope in His promises and I'm so ashamed of it. I'm also ashamed that I haven't been using my time wisely enough, like reading or writing letters to friends, as well as thinking about how things could have or should have been this summer. One of my pitfalls is comparing myself to others. I do it all the time and it is awful. I need to stay focused on where God is directing me towards. I can't look or run in the lanes of other people. But not that I can't be interested and see how God is working in them, it just can't be my focus.
I just hope that each day, I am ready for what God has for me, to learn and grow with all of my heart and to not look back, but to move forward with confidence.
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| Well, it has been a little over 2 weeks since I arrived home. But I wish I were somewhere else! Not that I don't love my family or enjoy being here in beautiful, sunny Florida, I just wish I was doing something that I enjoy!
I applied for a nursing externship in February, and found out at the beginning of April that I was turned down. So that weekend I scrambled around to find other opportunities or externships. Even though I put all my hope into this first externship,I agree with my parents that I should have pursued more options. I found another one in VA close to where I used to live. However, I received a letter from them more than a week ago, telling me that again I was turned down for a position. Even though I knew I probably didn't get that externship, it was still discouraging. I also applied to a camp that needed nursing assistants. I found out that all positions were filled. I emailed a family friend back in April about a summer opportunity in nursing and I emailed her again recently and said she filled all positions for the summer. I've applied to a nursing home and a hospital down here. I've emailed several camps and talked with a hospital back near school about a CNA position, but the news is just discouraging or doors just keep closing. Each day is more disappointing than the day before, as I wait in expectation for an answer. My attitude has not been the best regarding the situation, I'm desperate for answers, wondering why God hasn't answered my prayers for a summer opportunity to serve Him (especially in nursing). I've given up hope in some ways and have grown tired of emailing or applying for any job available.
This past weekend, our house sold and we'll be out of this house by the end of June. I'm happy for my parents, that this prayer is answered and they are finally able to move on to their new house. But I somewhat believe this is where God needs me. He wants me to be here with my parents, to help them pack up and move, even though I want to be working in a hospital or be on my own. I had high hopes for this summer, hoping to work some place in which I could develop my clinical skills and just get more nursing experience. I was looking forward to serving God by serving others and just the thrill of working and doing something different for a change. But now that doesn't seem to be the case, I am upset and wondering still what in the world God has planned for me this summer. I've also come to realize that I feel like I'm not "living." I just feel like I'm existing. I want to truly laugh and enjoy life, to live and love with abandon. I feel like I'm not doing something for myself, or not living my dreams, or pursuing my passions. But then thinking over those thoughts of "I'm not doing what I want," I feel selfish, because it is not my story to write, this life is not my own, it is God's. It is God who should direct and guide my thoughts and passions, not me. I hope this is making sense! I really just wish there was an open door, or something, I feel so lost.
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| Well, I guess it is about time for me to update right?
Like I said, the end of the school year came quickly. It was
surely busy!! But I'm glad that it is over. It is just hard to
believe that I am a SENIOR in college now! 
These years at Cedarville have gone by so fast, especially this year.
But it was a great year! I have learned a ton and have grown more. I am
just going to miss everyone who has graduated and miss my friends over
the summer. I am a bit excited for senior year, to continue
learning and gaining knowledge, but I am also very scared about life
after college and just being an adult and on my own. Oh
well! Summer has started and I need a job! Hopefully I will be
working in a hospital somewhere, either at home or back near school. So
please be praying for that opportunity! I really want to develop my
clinical and critical thinking skills!
I just can't wait to go home though and be with my family!! And to take care of the pets! Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful summer, please keep in touch!
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| Well, another spring break has come and gone It was so nice to come home and have friends stay over! I just wish it wasn't over though. It always seems to go too fast. I really do want to finish off this year, but right now I just want to stay at home a little bit more.
I had a great time though. We went to the beach almost everyday, went shopping, swam in the pool, had some yummy food and had a ton of laughs. And my parents adopted two kittens, who are so adorable!
Well, the end of the school year will be here sooner than I expect!
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| It is almost here, Spring Break!! I can't wait just to get away from Cedarville for a while. Of course I am going home and lazing out in the sun by the pool! And I'm so excited that four of my friends are coming down and staying with us. And well I just can't wait to be with Mom and Dad. It will be hard going home, since I was informed a couple of weeks ago that my beloved cat, Emily had to be put to sleep. I just started crying when my Dad had to tell me. I knew I would hate the day when I had to hear those words, but I just wish it wasn't so soon. She has been one of my best friends, I've had her since I was 5 years old. And now to have to go home and her not being there will be hard. I always looked forward to seeing her when I came home from breaks, because I missed her soo much! I'm just really sad about being done with the Maternity rotation too. It most definitely was my fave so far. I don't know if that is exactly what I want to do, but I am considering it! The Lord has been so good to me. But I have not been a faithful servant. My focus is so off, so distracted. But God is piercing my heart daily, to pray for certain people, to think more about things and to pursue Christ and truly work on my faith. Some days I get so discouraged about how I fail, but that does not help or work at all. My adequacy alone is in Christ. Last night we had a quick Bible study with the leaders, and we sang a couple of songs around the piano. It was just a taste of refreshment. To speak to the Lord, to tell Him what is on my heart and to give Thanks and Praise to Him. I hope those songs continually play in my heart. | | |
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